Task 1 Read the joke below and say what the punchline implies.
A very experienced customs officer is having a shift on the border now. At some point he sees a man pushing a bicycle with a huge sack thrown over the seat. Of course, he stops him at the border.
"Hey, what do you have in that sack?"
"Sand."
"Well, let me check."
The officer opens up the bag and indeed it's full of sand. He searches it thoroughly, but there's nothing else, so he lets the man go.
The next day the same man shows up, again pushing a bicycle with a huge sack thrown over the seat, and again there was nothing but sand in it. After a few days of this playing out, the customs officer holds up the man a little longer.
"Listen pal, I’ve been in this job for 10 years now, I can recognize a smuggler from a mile away. I have no definite proof, but I know you have been taking something past this border and it's driving me crazy. Let's make a deal - you tell me what you are smuggling and I won't stop you anymore. So what is it?"
And the man replied.
"Bicycles."
Task 2 Answer the questions.
1. What do you know about the Common Customs Tariff (CCT)?
2. What are the instruments of a customs policy?
3. Who are in charge of collecting customs duties, excise duties and VAT on imported products?
4. When boarding international flights, passengers go through customs control, passport control, and after security control get to a so called clean area. Why is it called so?
5. Who is security control carried out for?
6. What passengers are not allowed to carry on board the aircraft in order to ensure aviation security?
7. Have you ever travelled with animals? Did you go through veterinary control?
Task 3 Read the quotations and speculate on their meaning.
1. We wouldn't turn over our customs service or our border patrol to a foreign government. We shouldn't turn over the ports of the United States, either. (Bob Menendez)
2. We will have a border that is open for business, open for tourism, open for legitimate travelers; but that is closed to terrorists and drug pushers and smugglers and others who seek to break the law. (Paul Cellucc)
3. No level of border security, no wall, doubling the size of the border patrol, all these things will not stop the illegal migration from countries as long as a 7-year-old is desperate enough to flee on her own and travel the entire length of Mexico because of the poverty and the violence in her country. (Jeff Johnson)
4. These are busy times for the Border Patrol, the customs agents, immigration folks; but if we are going to send these agencies to fight a war on drugs, to fight a war against illegal behavior, we have to send them the proper tools. (Bob Filner)
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5. Thank God we're going to try to continue and effectively defend our frontiers with the Border Patrol, with the Customs Department, with the Coast Guard, with the Armed Forces. (Barry McCaffrey)
6. If you have to deal with our friends at ICE, Immigration and Customs Enforcement, it's like a Kafka novel. Files just disappear. (Jeb Bush)
7. Although more than 500 million maritime containers move around the world each year, accounting for 90 per cent of international trade, only 2 per cent are inspected. Strengthening customs and immigration systems is essential. (Ban Ki-moon)
8. Last year, customs officials screened only five percent of the 11 million cargo containers entering the United States. That rate is both unacceptable and dangerous to our national and economic interests. (Allyson Schwartz)
9. I brought my first fall-winter line to New York, and it was confiscated by U.S. Customs. They asked, 'What is the value of this?' I said, 'I'm not so good with existential questions. (John Malkovich)
10. Merchants have no country. The mere spot they stand on does not constitute so strong an attachment as that from which they draw their gains. (Thomas Jefferson)
11. If you stand with the Customs and Border Protection officers who staff the passport booths at Dulles airport near the nation's capital, their task seems daunting. (David K. Shipler)
12. Winds are not a customs order. (Georgy Alexsandrov)
13. Are Thoughts free of duty? - Yes, if they do not cross borders. (Stanislaw Jerzy Lec)
14. It is a pity that there is no customs at the border of good and evil! (Leonid S. Sukhorukov)
15. Thank God that there is no duty to lie! After all, wherever all of us would be devastated! (Denis IvanovichFonvizin)
16. If you have to deal with our friends at ICE, Immigration and Customs Enforcement, it's like a Kafka novel. Files just disappear. (Jeb Bush)
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