Working Mothers: What Children Say
In the two texts below, children give their opinions about having a working mother.
1.Look at the five questions below and then read the text about Debbie Hollobon to find the answers.
a) Why was it a difficult time for Debbie when her mother started working full-time?
b) How did she feel about her sister at that time? (Which words give you the answer?)
c) What did she soon enjoy about the new arrangement?
d) Does she feel that her mother neglected her in any way?
e) What advantages does Debbie think there were in having a working mother?
Debbie Hollobon, aged 21, comes from Daventry, Northamptonshire. Her mother, head of the mail room in a staff agency, has worked full time since Debbie was aged 13 and her sister, Sarah was ten.
‘I didn’t like it a bit when she took a full time job and, as the elder sister, I had to look after Sarah. Everything seemed to come at once: we’d just moved to Davantry and I was in my second year at comprehensive school and meeting new people and making new friends. I felt I had enough on my plate without having Sarah tagging along every time I went out. I went through a stage where I couldn’t stand her; she seemed to get in the way of everything I wanted to do.
‘I never told my mum how I felt. I knew she’d have been miserable sitting at home alone in a town where she didn’t know anyone, so the job was very good for her. Once the initial shock wore off, I got to like it, being trusted with my own key and feeling grown up and independent.
‘However much she had to do, coming home to the cooking and cleaning after a day’s work, she always had time for us when we wanted to talk. There was never a time when she shrugged us off because she was too tired or too busy.
‘I probably helped around the house more than I would have done with a stay-at-home mother, but she never told me to do any chores before she got home. I did what I felt like it and I knew she wouldn’t nag if it wasn’t done.
‘Since I got married, last June, I’ve appreciated the extra independence that came from looking after myself for part of the day. I know what things cost because I’m used to shopping and I know how much work goes into running a house. A lot of the girls I grew up with, who never learned to fend for themselves, must have come down to earth with a bump. When I have children I just hope I can do as well as my mother, but I don’t know if I’ll have enough patience and energy.
2.Now read the five questions about Peter Swift and read the text.
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1. What does he dislike about having a working mother?
2. What did his mother agree to before she started work?
3. Does he feel that his mother has neglected him at all?
4. What advantages does Peter think there have been in having a working mother?
5. Does he think the advantages make up for the disadvantages?
Peter Swift, aged 15, lives near Leeds. His mother has worked as a graphic designer for the last three years. ‘I hate it; I’ve always hated it. Mum disappears at 7.30 am and doesn’t get home until about 7.30 pm, so we come home to an empty house. It doesn’t worry my sister Elizabeth. She’s a year older than me and has loads of homework, so she sits upstairs working and I’m left on my own.
‘When she first had the chance of going back to work we all talked about it and she said that it was only a trial period and if we weren’t happy with it she would give it up. But it wasn’t a fair test because in the beginning it was all rather thrilling being on our own: like a big adventure. I didn’t realize what it would be like long term.
‘She started her new job two days before I started at comprehensive school and I had to go by myself, when all other boys had their mothers with them. Of course, everybody was much more interested in what had happened at the new job than what had happened at the new school.
‘Elizabeth and I both have our own chores. I load the dishwasher and I sometimes wash the car or mow the grass. Elizabeth does the ironing – well, she says she does, but she never seems to get round to ironing my shirts. We get extra pocket money because we help out, so I suppose it’s fair, but all my friends do absolutely nothing around the house.
There is a good side to it. Mum has lots of interesting things to tell us and I like to hear her talk about the people she meets. We probably get more freedom, too – I can make my models on the table without getting told off. We wouldn’t have as much money for trips to France or hobbies like photography if she didn’t work, but I’d swap all that if it meant she’d be at home like she used to be. I don’t think a woman’s place is in the home or anything like that, but I do think a career should be fitted round the children, not the other way round, and in my opinion what the children think should come first’.
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3.Say whether the following statements are true or false in your opinion and why.
a) Both Debbie and Peter have similar relationships with their sisters.
b) Neither Debbie nor Peter liked their mothers working at the beginning.
c) They both feel that the opportunity to work has been good for the mothers.
d) They were both given special jobs to do around the house.
e) Both their mothers started working at difficult times for their children.
f) Both Debbie and Peter admire their mothers for what they have done.
g) Debbie feels that other girls probably find it more difficult than she did when they first leave home.
h) Peter thinks the trial period at the beginning worked well.
Idioms and Expressions about Motherhood
1. A mother hen – a woman who is protective and caring for those she loves;
2. To take someone under your wing – to take a special interest in caring for and helping someone;
3. Still tied to his/her mother’s apron strings –a person who has not learned to be independent;
4. Maternal instinct – a natural desire to have children and to nurture people.
Definitions of Motherhood
The traditional definition of the word “mother” has grown to include many kinds of mothers.
16. Birth mother – a person’s biological mother;
17. Stepmother – a woman who is not the birth mother of a child but is married to the child’s father;
18. Working mother – a mother who works for pay outside the home;
19. Mom/momma/ma/mommy – an affectionate name for your mother, usually used by young children;
20. Stay-at-home mother/housewife – a woman whose work is taking care of the home and children;
21. Foster mother – a woman who cares for a child/children when the parents are unable to;
22. Single mother (parent) – a woman who is raising her child or children without a husband;
23. Super mom – a woman who is the perfect wife, mother and career woman;
24. Adoptive mother – a woman who is given the legal right to raise a child that is not hers by birth;
25. Surrogate mother - a woman who is paid to carry and give birth to a child for an infertile couple;
26. Earth mother - a woman who is warm and loving to her family and friends; a woman who is in tune with nature;
27. Godmother – when a child is born, the parents can ask a woman to be a sponsor or guardian of the child.
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