Text 2. Living together: Once a stigma, now a trend
For many couples living together has replaced marriage in recent years. There are many reasons for that. It can provide a chance for shared life without a shared bank account. And for those who are skittish about marriage, living together offers, what they say, “the same level of commitment”.
“I am very cautious about marriage, having grown up around not very pretty one”, said David Bergman, 39, an architect who lives in Manhattan with Lori Greenberg, 32, a graphic designer. “I consider myself rebellious. I am not sure what I am rebelling against, but I really don’t see a need for marriage. There is no less strength of commitment in living together than in marriage”.
Ms. Greenberg doesn’t think marriage implies a strong commitment either. “I get pretty angry about the rules that society places on us”, she said. “I think that if things are going really well, why do we have to prove things?”
Research shows that among older couples, cohabitation often follows divorce. Once you’ve been divorced, you are more cautious about things.
While some people see little difference between marriage and cohabitation, others say they are intentionally keeping a distance from their partners. That seems to be the case for Ruth, 83, who asked that her last name not to be used, to protect her privacy. She lives with a man who is 85. She says that they have been living together for more than four years and they have no intention of marrying. Both are widowed.
“I’m a free spirit”, Ruth said. “I need my space. Sometimes we think of marriage, but then I think that I don’t want to be tied down”.
For all the advantages living together may provide, there is no guarantee that it will translate into a good marriage. Researchers have found that about 50 percent of marriages that begin in cohabitation break up. Many of them are uncertain whether this is because people who live together are tolerant of divorce or because there is a direct relationship between cohabitation and divorce.
Some researchers have discovered that people who live together are often less committed to each other than married couples. There is often less sexual fidelity between cohabiting partners.
Cohabiting couples also tend to make fewer financial investments together, which seems to underscore their independence.
“It is a little hard to know the cause and effect of cohabitation and divorce”, said David Popenoe, the associate dean for social and behavioral sciences at Rutgers University. “I hope that as the trend continues, divorce rates will soften. We can’t go back to a society where people don’t have sex or live together at all before marriage nor do I want to go back to one where people are matched up at 20 for life”.
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1. Match words to make a word combination.
a)to provide independence
to keep commitments
to make a bank account
to underscore things
to share investments
to imply a chance
to enjoy a distance
to prove companionship
b)sexual partners
financial designer
strong couples
direct name
graphic fidelity
last investments
married relationship
cohabiting commitment
2. Put the right word into each gap.
Break up, provides a chance, make financial investments, committed, has replaced, follows, to be tied down
a) Sometimes cohabitation ……. divorce.
b) Living together …….marriage for many people.
c) People who live together are often less …….to each other.
d) Cohabitation …….for shared life without a shared bank account.
e) As a rule spouses …….together.
f) About 50 % of marriages that begin in cohabitation ……. .
g) They didn’t want …….by the marriage and decided just to live together.
3. Translate into English.
a) На самом деле я не вижу никакой нужды в браке и не намерен жениться.
b) Нельзя возвращаться к тем временам, когда молодых людей женили в 20 лет на всю жизнь, а половые отношения до брака категорически осуждались.
c) Гражданский брак предоставляет возможность партнерам жить вместе без претензий на частную собственность и банковские счета друг друга.
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d) Я очень осторожен в отношении брака, так как вырос в неблагополучной семье.
e) Если тенденция к гражданскому браку продолжится, уровень разводов снизится.
4. Points for discussion.
21) Why do you think the number of cohabiting couples is increasing?
22) Why do you think some men don’t want to be tied down with marriage?
23) Why do you think cohabiting couples tend to make less financial investments together?
24) What problems do spouses face up when they want to get divorced?
25) Do you think divorce rates will soften if the trend to cohabiting continues?
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