SPONSOR/SPONSEE NINTH STEP WORKSHEET
"We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them and others."
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This is quite simple when we approach this step with an attitude of positive expectancy. This is the last of the cleansing and releasing steps. Many doors in our recovery will begin to open for us after we complete this step. Our growth will astound us. Knowing this alone can give us an attitude of positive expectancy.
We do exactly as this step says; we make direct amends to such people wherever possible. But what about those people we no longer know where they are or those we never knew who they were, all those faceless people.
Remember the first name we put on our list, our higher power. We can make amends through our Higher Power to all those faceless people and those we cannot locate. The second name on the list, ourselves. A question we may ask is how we make amends to ourselves. We must realize we started to make amends to ourselves the day we walked into NA. We continue to make amends to ourselves as we live the steps and carry the message of NA to other addicts. We can never give away more than we have, because as soon as we give it away our Higher Power gives us twice as much as we gave.
The next part of the step says "except when to do so would injure them or others." We must remember sometime in trying to make amends, the amends themselves may injure the person you are trying to make amends to. Let me explain for instance, someone you injured in your addiction by stealing from. They trusted you and never knew you stole from them. In verbally making the amends you may injure them by shocking them and causing them to have resentment. You may want to handle this amend by anonymously reimbursing them and make your amends through your higher power. It is important to go over your amends with your sponsor to get direction on how to make each of your amends so you don't injure them. Also, when the step refers to them and others, you are part of others. You must make sure that amends do not injure you. That would be pure irresponsibility. Again, I must stress that you go over your list one by one with your sponsor.
Also remember on your Ninth Step. Many addicts would like to justify why not to make amends. It is our disease. The step does not say others are to make amends to us. No matter what they did to us, this step tells us we are to make direct amends.
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Write the answers on a separate piece of paper and return to your sponsor:
1. What type of attitude must we have when we do this step and why?
2. How do we make amends to people we can't locate?
3. Under certain circumstances can amends injure someone?
4. Why is it important to go over your list with your sponsor?
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SPONSOR/SPONSEE TENTH STEP WORKSHEET
"We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."
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This is the first of the maintenance steps. It is a very important step because it covers the Fourth and Fifth Steps on a daily basis. By taking a daily inventory we can eliminate the built-up of many of the things we dealt with from the Fourth through the Ninth Steps.
We approach this step in two parts. Let's talk about the first personal inventory. Personal inventory is then divided into two parts. The first part is going over our day. Getting in touch with the way we handled things throughout the day, good and bad. The second thing we do in this step is we take the things we did not handle well and take a look at them. After we do that, we go to the First Step and admit we did not handle them well because of our addiction. We now go to the second step and see how we could have handled them differently and finally we go to the third step and make a decision to turn them over to the care of the God of our understanding to help us handle them in a mature and responsible way. Again, we see the importance of the first three steps in relation to the other steps.
The second part of the step deals with "when we are wrong we promptly admitted it." There is a lot of confusion about this part of the step. Many addicts seem to think it means to go and say your sorry Addicts suffer from sorry-itus. Although apologies are a part of it, there is much more. "We promptly admitted it." This applies to self-honesty which is very important when we take our personal inventory. When we are wrong we must promptly admit it to ourselves if we are to do anything about it.
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Many times as addicts we will go around telling everybody that we are sorry. That is not the answer. And sorry means nothing as long we continue to keep doing the same thing over and over again. We must use self-honesty to admit our wrong to ourselves so that we can apply the first three steps to the situation. This takes practice, practice and practice, to learn to live the steps we must practice the steps. We must not strive for perfection but we must strive to practice these steps daily.
Answer the following questions on a separate piece of paper and return to your sponsor:
1. What is a personal inventory?
2. How do you do a personal inventory?
3. When you were wrong promptly admitted it. What does this mean?
4. In what way do the first three steps apply to the Tenth Step?
5. Why is a Tenth Step necessary?
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