In Which the Object of Particular Interest Appears
Any further concerns were stilled, a half-hour into the dinner service, when Pilkins and Ralph entered the kitchen, bearing between them an object swathed in sacking. Ralph stopped short, gaping at the ladies in their chitons, and Pilkins swore as the object they carried fell to the kitchen flagstones with a clatter. Lady Beatrice glimpsed the corner of a long flat box like a silverware case, before Pilkins hurriedly covered it over again with the sacking.
“You great oaf! Mind what you’re about,” said Pilkins. “And you, you — girls, clear out of here. You, too, Cook. Go wait in the pantry until I call.”
“Well, I like that! This ain’t your kitchen, you know,” cried Mrs. Duncan.
“Lordship’s orders,” said Pilkins. “And you can go with them, Ralph.”
“Happy to oblige,” said Ralph, sidling up to Maude.
“If you please,” said Mrs. Corvey, “My rheumatism is painful, now that night’s drawn on, and I find it troublesome to move. Mightn’t I just bide here by the fire?”
Pilkins glanced at her. “I don’t suppose you’ll matter. Very well, stay there; but into the pantry with the rest of you, and be quick about it.”
The ladies obeyed, with good grace, and Mrs. Duncan with markedly less enthusiasm. Ralph stepped after them and pulled the door shut.
“Heigh-ho! ‘Here I stand like the Turk, with his doxies around,’ ” he chortled. “Saving your presence, Cook,” he added, but she slapped him anyway.
Mrs. Corvey, meanwhile, watched with interest as Pilkins unwrapped the box — rather heavier, apparently, than its appearance indicated — and grunted with effort as he slid it across the floor to the creaking trestle that supported the Dessert. Mrs. Corvey saw what appeared to be a row of dials and levers along its nearer edge.
Pilkins pushed it underneath the trestle and fumbled with it a moment. Mrs. Corvey heard a faint humming sound, then saw the box rise abruptly through the air, as though it fell upward . It struck the underside of the tray with a crash and remained there, apparently, while Pilkins crouched on the flagstones and massaged his wrists, muttering to himself.
Then, almost imperceptibly at first but with increasing violence, the Dessert began to tremble. The jellied Cupids shook their heads, as though in disbelief. As Mrs. Corvey watched in astonishment, the Dessert on its carrier lifted free of the trestles and rose jerkily through the air. It was within a hand’s breadth of the ceiling when Pilkins, having exclaimed an oath and scrambled to his feet, reached up frantically and made some sort of adjustment with the dials and levers. One end of the carrier dipped, then the other; the whole affair leveled itself, like a newly launched ship, and settled gently down until it bobbed no more than an inch above its former resting place on the trestles. The flat box was so well screened by drooping ferns and flowers as to be quite invisible.
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Pilkins sagged onto a stool and drew a flask from his pocket.
“Are you quite all right, Mr. Pilkins?” said Mrs. Corvey.
“Well enough,” said Pilkins, taking a drink and tucking the flask away.
“I only wondered because I heard you lord mayoring there, in a temper.”
“None of your concern if I was.”
“I reckon his lordship must be a trial to work for, sometimes,” said Mrs. Corvey, in the meekest possible voice. Pilkins glared at her sidelong.
“An old family, the Rawdons. If they’ve got strange ways about them, it’s not my place to talk about ’em with folk from outside.”
“Well, I’m sure I meant no harm—” began Mrs. Corvey, as Mrs. Duncan threw the pantry door open with a crash.
“I’ll see you get your notice, Ralph, you mark my words!” she cried. “I ain’t staying in there with him another minute. He’s a fornicating disgrace!”
“Indeed, I think he does a very creditable job.” Maude’s voice drifted from the depths of the pantry. Ralph emerged from the pantry smirking, followed by the ladies. Upon seeing the floating Dessert, Ralph pointed and exclaimed:
“Hi! That’s what it does, is it? I been going mad wondering—”
Mrs. Duncan, noticing the Dessert’s new state, gave a little scream and backed away. “Marry! He’s done it again, hasn’t he? That unnatural—”
“Hold your noise!” Pilkins told her.
“Whatever’s the matter?” said Mrs. Corvey.
“The Dessert appears to be levitating,” Lady Beatrice said.
“Oh, stuff and nonsense! I’m sure it’s just a conjuror’s trick,” said Mrs. Corvey. Pilkins gave her a shrewd look.
“That’s it, to be sure; nothing but a stage trick, as his lordship likes to impress people.”
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“So the Dessert isn’t really floating in midair?” Jane poked one of the Cupids with a fingertip, causing it to writhe. “Just as you say; I’m only grateful we shan’t kill ourselves carrying it in.”
A bell rang then. Pilkins jumped to his feet. “That’s his lordship signaling for the next course! Get those finger cymbals on, you lot! Where’s the bloody swan?”
The swan was heaved out in its mold and upended over the cake, and a screw turned to let air into its vacuum; the swan unmolded and plopped into its place on the cake with an audible thud, sending the Cupids into quivering agonies.
“Right! Pick the damned thing up! He wants you smiling and… and exercising your wiles when you go out there!” cried Pilkins.
“We strive to please, sir,” said Lady Beatrice, taking her place on one of the carrier poles. The Devere sisters took their places as well. They found that the Dessert lifted quite easily, for it now seemed to weigh scarcely more than a few ounces. Lady Beatrice struck up a rhythm on the finger cymbals, the Devere sisters cut a few experimental capers, and Pilkins ran before them up the stairs and so to the vast banqueting table of Basmond Hall.
“I could do with a dram of gin, after all that,” said Mrs. Duncan, collapsing into her chair.
“I could, too,” said Ralph.
“Well, you can just take yourself off to the stables!”
“Perhaps you’d be so kind as to guide me to my room?” asked Mrs. Corvey. “I’m rather tired.”
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